3 Myths About Being Engaged
Whether you’re already engaged or you’re expecting it soon, there is a good chance you have some preconceived notions of what engaged life is supposed to be like. I think we get these ideas from the highlight reels of others’ social media posts.
But nevertheless, we have expectations of what this time is meant to be like & I think this might be damaging our experiences. I’m sure there are many, but I have seen 3 myths that most girls believe about being engaged.
Myth #1: Engaged life means you’re really giddy all the time about getting married
Don’t get me wrong, I do think you’ll probably feel really happy or giddy at some points throughout your engagement, but it doesn’t always feel like that. If you’re a couple who fights often and you’re comparing your engagement to a couple that doesn’t fight, you’re going to feel like something is wrong.
We each need to assess our relationships against a greater standard than that other couple I kind of know.
Marriage doesn’t solve this problem. My standard for our relationship is Am I treating my husband in a way that show the love of Christ? I know this will be different for each person, but it simply cannot be that we are comparing ourselves to strangers & wondering if we measure up.
This method is a recipe for disaster and disappointment in your relationship. For my husband and I, if we never fought, we wouldn’t be being ourselves. We are people who push against the status quo and ask ourselves challenging questions. That doesn’t mean every fight is necessary or handled respectfully, but it does mean it’s okay if they happen sometimes.
Our best friends are married and are the most fun, positive people you will meet. They almost never fight, and if they fought a lot, that wouldn’t be the best for their personalities. They wouldn’t be able to truly live in their giftings like that.
Myth#2: The Best couples have/do ___________ while they’re engaged
You can fill in that blank with almost anything. There are so many ideas out there today of what engaged life is “supposed to” look like.
You’re supposed to have a couple’s shower, a bachelorette weekend, date night every week, pre-martial counseling, intentional time talking about your future, etc. etc. etc. etc. etc.
I’m not saying these things are bad, but they aren’t necessary to have great relationships. I think some of them greatly enhance your relationship and your engagement experience, but you can still have a great marriage without them.
Myth #3: Your relationship & life will feel really different (in a good way)
If you’re not engaged yet, get ready; engaged life means having this conversation 1000+ times:
Acquaintance: Congratulations on your engagement!! How does it feel?!
You: *insert something really exciting sounding here even though is feels kind of normal*
It is VERY NORMAL for couples to feel pretty much the same after getting engaged. Sure, there are some big life changes you’re processing, but it comes in waves over time. Usually, the process of bringing your lives together feels very subtle and slow. By the time the wedding day comes, you’re (mostly) mentally prepared to start!
If you’re engaged and you don’t feel that different, you’re not alone! Let your emotions be what they are and change as you go. It’s okay if it feels normal to be going through such a big life change – this probably just means you’re super comfortable with the idea of forever with your fiance!
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