First Look: For the Groom

Wedding Planning

April 18, 2019




Starting the Conversation


After three weddings in a row with first looks, I am even more convinced they are a great choice for everyone! If your groom doesn’t feel comfortable with a first look, send him this link. He might be surprised!



Hey Groom!


I’m going to speak specifically to the grooms now! In most cases, you are probably someone who hasn’t had many preferences throughout this process. You may think it’s silly your ONE preference of no first look is being met with opposition.


Something Groom’s accidentally miss: everything your bride has planned can be enhanced by having a first look. This may sound a bit extreme, but it’s true! A first look allows for more time, relaxation & enjoyment of every little thing she’s been working so hard to plan!


Let’s talk about the common expectations vs reality of what a first look is really like (from the groom’s perspective!)



Expectation #1: First looks are awkward because there are cameras on you.

Reality #1: First looks are HONORED as your private time together!


Put yourself at the ceremony. You’re standing up front, knowing your bride is about to walk down the aisle towards you. You look around & there are 200+ eyes on you, watching this really intimate moment between you and your bride. She gets to you and the ceremony starts. You don’t get to tell her she’s beautiful or hug her or kiss her. Your NATURAL reaction has to be held back.


During your first look, you get to react HOWEVER you want. Before their first look, I tell my couples: I’ll get your initial reactions and then step back to take pictures so you have privacy. You won’t be rushed out of that moment with your bride.



Expectation #2: It will ruin the moment when she walks down the aisle.

Reality #2: First looks ENHANCE the moment when she walks down the aisle.


If you aren’t the type to “show your emotions”, the first look gives you time to process the importance of your wedding day. Your bride has been thinking about it for months! It’s likely it won’t start to sink in for you until the week or day of the wedding.


You likely don’t want an audience watching your first reaction to your bride!





Expectation #3: It’s not normal and/or traditional.

Reality #3: It serves the traditional purposes of a wedding day – celebrating your marriage!


First looks are becoming more and more “normal”, even among those who would describe themselves as traditional. Tradition isn’t bad as long as it’s serving your marriage!


By doing a first look, you are putting the focus BACK on you and your bride instead of all the wedding details! You get to actually spend time together on your first day of marriage before you get in the car to head for the hotel.




Expectation #4: It’s just for the photos, so it doesn’t really matter.

Reality #4: First Looks enhance the OVERALL experience of your wedding day!


“I am SO glad we chose to do that! I feel so much better now!”


This is the statement almost EVERY groom says after their first look. The nerves have been building and they are so relieved after seeing their Bride!


Once you’ve seen each other, you get to spend time together. Your friends and family get to spend time all together throughout the day and your timeline is WAY more relaxed. The first look means you will end your wedding day feeling like you got to have a lot of fun NOT that you “took a lot of pictures”.



  1. You know says:

    Michele, what a great subject to cover! I hope all grooms take the time to read it.

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