December 6, 2018
Why Doing a First Look is the New Traditional
“We’re not going to do a first look, we’re just really traditional”. This is such a common phrase I hear, but I think it’s faulty & here’s why:
Meaningful > Traditional
I believe for most people who say they are “traditional” when it comes to their wedding, really mean they want a meaningful wedding day. You are someone who understands the impact of this day & you want to honor the such an important commitment.
Let me talk to my fellow Christian brides for just a sec! I’m a Christian girl from south Georgia, so I GET traditional – trust me! I get that even if you aren’t as traditional, there are people in your life who expect tradition to be honored.
I want to pose a question to you – Is traditional the same thing as God-honoring? I want to encourage you to think through how you want to show God your gratitude for this huge gift He’s giving you. It’s probably pretty different than just not seeing each other until you get to the altar.
Example: the couple below chose to pray together and wash each other’s fear during their private moments together before all their guests arrived! I watched them go from nervous to calm JUST from this moment alone. They made a choice, not because it looked “religious”, but because they believed in their hearts that it honored God.
Is Your Focus on Marriage or the Wedding Day?
Another important thing to note, is that when not doing a first look was a popular tradition, it was because wedding days were simply to focus on the first day of marriage. They weren’t huge or all day or high pressure like they can be today.
If you have more than 3 vendors on a wedding day, you’re planning a modern wedding! Even if you’re keeping it simple and small, you’re still already influenced by today’s wedding trends – and that’s okay! Weddings are so much fun.
But here’s the issue: without a first look, the majority of the time on your wedding day will be spent not focusing on your marriage or your new husband. If you wait to see each other, you’re spending your day focusing on details, being surrounded by bridesmaids and how everything looks and feels. It’s not that you’re bad for doing this, BUT it’s important to note that if you are wanting to stick to tradition – you want to put the focus back on marriage which is done by spending the majority of your day WITH your husband.
Choose Traditions That Honor
If you have relatives who would frown upon the idea of doing a first look, this part is important! As a reminder, most of these people are remembering the days when weddings were only about getting married. It won’t be easy for them to understand how different weddings are today.
Much like choosing something that you believe would honor God on your wedding day, make some other choices of how you can honor these people and how they have positively influence your life. If it’s a grandmother who has been a model of martial success to you, ask her to pray for your marriage and impart her wisdom to you!
If it’s your mother who has stood by your side since day one, use a piece of her wedding day attire such as a veil, garter or even a piece of her wedding dress sewed into your garter! Show her that her model as a wife has inspired you and you want to start your marriage off with a piece of her.